Particularly venomous grannies will tell them demeaning things about you with the ultimate purpose of turning your kids against you. Child grooming techniques a child predator uses you need to know. For example, one parent might try to get their child to keep secrets from the other. Alternatively, says a mom named Rebecca, try to get your child's buy-in on telling the other parent. Several years ago, in Asheville, NC, Buncombe County Child Protective Services rescued an 11-year-old boy who was being molested by both his grandparents and his parents… Keep the incident confidential, and if you share it with someone who must know (such as the other parent), do so in private, away from your child. Can a parent keep a child away from the other parent following a divorce? Sometimes, one parent will alienate a child from the other parent out of anger, desire for revenge, jealousy, feelings of betrayal, rejection, etc. Telling Your Child Critical or Hurtful Things. The other parent might not be angry at all but, such accusations can cause a child to have unfounded hard feelings toward the other parent. He asked me to keep that a secret. How to tell if someone is preying on your trust, taking advantage of your situation & innocent child. Makin False Accusations of Abuse A parent may go as far as making false accusations of sexual, physical or emotional abuse against the other parent. 10. Teaching/Telling kids to lie or withold information from the other parent is terrible. Toxic grandparents may love their grandchildren. Sometimes we might keep a surprise secret from one or the other of us, like presents, but if somebody asks him to “keep a secret” he has to tell one of us. The short answer is no, a parent can never stop a child from visiting the other parent unless the child is in immediate danger, or the court issues a court order approving this modified custody arrangement to exclude custody or visitation by one parent. They may encourage your kids to keep secrets from you or to lie to you. Be wary of secrets your child has with the other parent, including code words or signals. when one parent tells a child to purposely lie, or hide issues or problems from the other parent, and it is a form of abuse it is called "parental alienation syndrome" and can get the children taken from the parent who is telling the children to lie to the other in almost all 50 states. We had a similar incident last Christmas. This actually gets more difficult as he got older, because kids keep secrets all the time, so we also made an agreement that we will respect the privacy of anyone telling him a secret. Custodial Interference Can Backfire. A Child Predator is hiding in plain sight - they look just like you and me. Like when I discovered that my father was writing child support checks, making copies to use in court, and then throwing the checks away without sending them to my mother. How to spot a Child Predator: Red Flags of a Pedophile. For example, your child may refuse to tell you what he did with dad last weekend, and may even say "Dad said not to tell you," or "Dad said to keep it a secret." They may mean them no harm.